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Monthly Archives: April 2009

Do You Feel Scared???

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

House Minority Leader John Boehner, from the state of Ohio which I know so well, released a video today called “Do You Feel Safe?” to helpfully suggest why we should be scared shitless.

This video is a less subtle version of John Boehner’s video.

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Obama, Day 101: Everything Goes to Sh*t

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

With all of the fanfare for President Obama’s popular first 100 days, he is that much more certain to have a bad day, and soon. Here is Obama’s worst day yet per Politico 44’s daily itinerary of “POTUS” (Secret Service-style code for President!): Read More »

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Torture Finally Broke Them

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

In the end, torture broke them. They could no longer hold it all back. They now realize that their denial does not add up, and their tormentors become convinced of their guilt.

The Architects of Agony in the name of America are aware that their arrogant era has ended. They’ve been tortured enough by the questions about torture.

Dick Cheney is suddenly more media accessible than Susan Boyle. The man who personified “undisclosed location” actually wants to release classified documents on coerced interrogations to prove they yielded some pertinent information at some point. That Cheney would abandon his scurrilously low profile and absolved air to abruptly attempt exoneration of anything is salient. Read More »

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Yelling “FIRE!” in an Empty Theater

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

While I would prefer to not dignify John Ziegler by writing any more about him, I would like to take the opportunity to respond to his grievances against me while addressing more pertinent issues.

I do not feel the need to rebut every sweeping accusation from him, because as I have already detailed, this individual projects partisan pressure into every context. My lengthy refutation of his film Media Malpractice: How Obama Got Elected and Palin was Targeted was not so “laughably biased” as he would prefer, but rather a thorough break down of the film as one long subjective rant with news clips plied around it. The only thing “documented” in this documentary was Sarah Palin squirming while Zeigler forces her to watch some of her damaging press clips. She even says to Ziegler, “You’re torturing me, man!”

My opinions never even got a chance to be affected by his film, because Ziegler offers no evidence other than his biased interpretation of news coverage. In fact, I have stretched to keep my mind open to many conservative viewpoints in spite of how Mr. Ziegler has argued them. Read More »

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Does the First Amendment Protect the Right to Be a Dumbass?

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

Upon seeing John Ziegler in handcuffs, I was struck by the sheer suaveness of a simpleton who discovered that getting in the face of security with a camera will lead them to apprehend you. It was similar to how he looked on a reality dating show explaining his ideal relationship to a clearly perturbed woman: that marriage should be renegotiated every five years like a business contract. How did this not go over well? Read More »

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On Teabags and Douchebags

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

The Teabagging movement appears to be a dart board of broad complaints about American government today, insidiously co-opted by the Republican party, FOX News and corporate lobbyists.

It’s like the venerable blog, Hot Chicks with Douchebags, devoted to otherwise attractive females attaching themselves to appalling macho cheese. The mantra of the site is, “What is she doing with him?”

Somewhere in the Tea Party outrage are some desperate people asking worthwhile questions you can relate to, such as “Where the fuck is all this government bailout money going to?” and “How come I am so broke?” But before you can answer, you see they are standing next to other people who advocate burning books about evolution. Read More »

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Look at this Motherf*%@n Puppy!

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

This flier was found today posted in the vicinity of the White House.

While the dissonant prose may suggest dictation from Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel, the use of pronouns indicate this may have been issued by the POTUS himself, to tell off that showboat dog Xerxes. Read More »

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Missing the Point of Atlas Shrugged

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

Much has been made of Ayn Rand’s opus of late, Atlas Shrugged, and its relevance to our current economic crisis.

To condense a thousand page novel into a lede: As the U.S. worsens, captains of industry disappear, creating a secret utopian community of their own led by John Galt, waiting to return into society until it crumbles so badly without them, the lights of New York go dark.

To condense a thousand page allegory on Objectivism into a rationale: Some people are just geniuses, and they should be left alone to produce, because their ingenuity is what allows society to flourish. Intrusion into their process is oppression.

The inherent problem of literature is that often times citing it is in itself an appearance of wisdom, superior reasoning, of being right. And as grandiose as the grunting of “Going Galt” by conservatives has been, their many detractors have disparaged an otherwise good novel. Read More »

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Funny But True: Lessons from A.I.G.

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

These are real pamphlets of wisdom put out by A.I.G. (Apparently the artwork is from Highlights.)

Fittingly, I found them on the curb, with other items left over from one of the many yard sales springing up in this recession.
Read More »

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Why Obama Hates The New York Times

Posted by John Wellington Ennis

Yesterday, The New York Times sniffed, “Is President Obama trying to muzzle his press corps?”

The obvious answer about this transparency-promoting president who keeps his daily schedule on Politico is inarguably, Yes. At least, he probably doesn’t care enough about this New York Times reporter’s feelings to reassure her that, ‘No, it’s not you, Honey, I called on three journalists from the White House press pool, then the Prime Minister has to call on his peeps, then we got the whole G-20 goin’ on, you know how it is.’

In his press conferences, Obama has been leaving the press corps aghast by calling on journalists from smaller news outlets. Pressmen, not known for their benevolence, had likely been deriding these journalists until they started getting Obama’s attention, such as Spanish-speaking Univision, U.S. Army newspaper Stars & Stripes, and the tres chic Huffington Post. Read More »

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